I once worked for a woman who often made my fellow teachers cry. She regularly observed each of us while we were attempting to convey information to our students. Such moments were always tense. The students did not act the way they normally did and all of the spontaneity and joy seemed to leave the classroom. The whole situation was a very canned version of the reality of our ability to teach. Everyone including the students had a sixth sense that a rigid type of grading was taking place and so there was always an uneasy tension that permeated the scene.
We would meet with our evaluator after her visits to our classrooms. In the guise of being a mentor she would almost always tear apart our presentations, nit picking things that she saw in the classroom that were disturbing to her. Once she marked me down because when students were working in small groups as I was moving from table to table she noticed that one of the students showed the others her new watch. The interaction only last a few seconds before the students went back to work but the observer felt that I should have noted what had happened and immediately corrected the girl who delayed the start of group work. I had actually seen what happened but decided that correcting her would only delay the progress of the rest of the class. It only took about ten seconds for her group to knuckle down so no real harm came from admiring her watch. Nonetheless this was an example of the kinds of nits that the observer tended to pick from all of the things that she witnessed.
I usually just sat silently during her harangues about everything that I had done wrong while nodding my head as though I was learning how to be a better teacher from her. Little did she know that most of the time my mind was drifting away and her voice sounded like the droning of a horn just like in the cartoons of Charlie Brown in school.
I knew that every single assessment of my quality as a teacher would be littered with complaints about small things that she found to be wrong. One day I found myself unable to just sit in front of her taking her negativity to heart. Without thinking of what the consequences might be be I asked her if she ever saw anything good happening in my classroom. She looked stunned by my question and immediately asserted that most of what she saw was fabulous. She only wanted to talk about the errors that she felt were preventing the perfection in my classroom. Then she asked me why I would even ask such a silly question.
I told her that all of us knew that she was evaluating us and by leaving out the positive aspects of our teaching she made us feel as though we were losers. I noted that when humans only hear complaints and negativity they begin to feel defeated but speaking about both the good and the bad created a pathway to better performance. Sadly even though she assured me that she felt that I was an outstanding teacher I was never able to shake the feeling that she was looking for ways to damage my reputation as an educator. I was thrilled when she moved to another school and so were my colleagues.
I have had many outstanding supervisors who acted more like mentors than judges. They had ways of including me in discussions of how well I was honing my skills as a teacher. They reassured me by first commenting on the many things that had positively impressed them. Then they asked leading questions that allowed me to discuss problems that worried me about whether or not I was reaching my students as well as I should be. In other words they allowed me to critique myself and even to suggest ways of improving. I left such meetings feeling supported in my endeavors. I actually looked forward to their visits to my classroom because they always resulted in productive discussions that strengthened my skills.
Many people in different kinds of jobs attempt to train and develop new hires and even those who have been working for some time. The worst of these individuals immediately criticize rather than starting with what is going right. They beat people down and make them feel threatened and unworthy. There is often a high turnover in such places because being constantly subjected to negativity shatters the soul.
I spent the last years of my career in education being a mentor to the members of the faculty. The principal who first designed my role told me that I was to use the same kind of positive reinforcement with the teachers that I had used with my students. He and I understood that each of us learns and adapts in different ways. Some people take a bit longer to learn the ropes but with patience and encouragement most people are able to become the kind of professionals that we want them to be.
I remember that he insisted that my job was not to evaluate my peers but to develop them so that when he and the assistant principals showed up to score their teaching it would be a positive experience for everyone. Sometimes he would wait until the spring to formalize the estimation of a brand new teacher if I told him that a certain person was almost there but still struggling now and again. With the exception of one person everyone eventually shined and literally went on to become educational leaders themselves.
I learned much about people and how they are able to overcome difficulties when given enough encouragement. I was the same why with the adults as I had been with my students. I realized the power of positive reinforcement and encouragement and used that magic to change even those who struggled mightily.
People are all the same no matter what age they are. We can beat them down with constant complaints or we can begin a transformation by noting their value rather than only their mistakes. Sadly in every school or business or factory there will be people ill suited for the task of onboarding or mentoring employees. They think their job is only to eliminate flaws rather than to insure that the best qualities of individuals are duly noted. Good teaching works in every kind of situation with every type of age group. I learned this from the first jobs that I had. Time and patience built my confidence and made me an outstanding and loyal employee. We build from what is good in a person. Such is a simple idea is all too often forgotten.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 