Soulmates

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We tend to think of a soulmate as being a romantic partner. I certainly hit the jackpot in that regard, but I have had soulmates in my friendships as well. i have been fortunate in finding people to whom I can bar my soul without fear of being judged or rejected, people who love me even when I get angry or down in the dumps. We may not always be on the same wavelength when it comes to our views about religion or politics or even medical advice, but our constant is a loving willingness to understand each other. 

My soulmates have come to me at different times in my life, sometimes leaving for a time and then circling back to a reunion that feels as comfortable as our relationship was before they left. They are lovely people who know me so well that they hear my sorrow even when I am doing my best to hide it. They check to see how I am doing when I haven’t even discovered myself that my optimism is waning. They read between the lines of what I say and do. They come to my rescue at the exact moment when I need them most. 

I can laugh and be silly with my soulmates but I can also get bitchy or whiny and they have patience with my outbursts. They don’t automatically give advice or try to talk me out of my doldrums. Instead they let me know that they get what I am trying to say. They are loving and judgement free. They encourage me and keep me from crashing into a sea of self-pity. 

My soulmates run the gamut of diversity. I have known some of them since i was a child, other from the time when I was a teen. I have soulmates with women I met at work and some who were once my former students. I have had neighbors whose door were always open to me and friends from church who were only a phone call away. I found a soulmate when one of my friends took her as his wife. I have soulmates young enough to be my daughters who are wise and fun and open. I have a soulmates who are like additional daughters. One of my soulmates came as a surprise because I had known of her for many years but did not know about her until we both were much older. 

Whenever I talk with one of my soulmates I feel a healing process happening in my soul. They listen and if they say anything at all it seems to miraculously be exactly what I needed to hear. In fact there is a kind of spiritual connection between me and those who have been my soulmates, a bond that is never broken even when we find ourselves in disagreement over something. 

Many of my soulmates have died. Losing them was as tragic to me as if a beloved sister was gone forever. These were women my age and women old enough to be my mother or a big sister. Among them was my mother-in-law, Mary, who was a wise voice in my life over cups of tea and little platters of cookies. She did as much to help me become the woman that I am as my own mother. Then there was Patricia, the big sister I never before had, who showed me how to have fun and allowed me to use her as a sounding board. Betty was my neighbor and the quintessential good ole gal who gave me a common sense view of the world and gave me homespun values that I treasure to this day. Bren was a rather recent soulmate who tragically died just as we were realizing how much we enjoyed each other. 

I smile when i think of all these wonderful women who have shared the joys and frustrations and sorrows of my life. I hope that I have sufficiently reciprocated when they have been in need. I would like to think that they know that I am always here for them, loving them through thick and thin. Nothing they do or say will cause me to turn my back on them. 

The person who has been my soulmate for the longest time came into my life when I was six years old. She lived across the street from my family and we fell into lockstep almost as soon as we met. She already had four sisters but somehow we thought of each other as related, bound at the hip. We imagined living our lives in tandem but events forced us away from each other time and time again. Nonetheless I can call her at any moment and we are able to talk for hours without even catching a breath. We almost complete each other’s sentences. There is an unbroken bond between us that overcomes both time and distance. 

Somehow soulmates find each other. We recognize a bond from across a room. It is an intangible connection that produces a relationship built on great trust. I have been blessed to find women who complete me. Having them along with my incredible spouse has been one of the greatest blessings in my live. These women have been my sisters by choice and I am all the better for knowing and loving them.   

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