We Believed

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I sometimes wonder why anyone from some place else would choose to move to Houston, Texas. My father-in-law came to my hometown accidentally. He and a buddy were supposed to meet up at “U of H.” He forget to ask what the “H” stood for and a search of universities led him to believe that he needed to enroll at the University of Houston. After he had traveled here he went looking for his friend only to eventually find out at his pal was at the University of Hawaii. Things worked out well for him when he met my mother-in-law in the Cougar Den and they fell in love. He’s been here ever since.

My maternal grandfather came over as an immigrant from Austria-Hungary just before the outbreak of World War I. Houston was advertising all over Europe back then in an effort to entice workers who were needed for the growing community. Sometimes the flyers that they posted stretched the truth just a bit with photographs of beautiful mountains in the background that may have caught the interest of those thinking about relocating. Unfortunately they would soon enough learn that Houston was as flat as a pancake, but there were indeed jobs here which was probably more important to my grandfather than lovely landscapes. He too set down permanent roots. Eight of his children would be born in Houston and grow up on the east side of town. None of them ever left other than to fight a war. They purchased homes and raised families and grew old, always feeling great pride in a town that is not always understood by the rest of the world.

I first met Houston, Texas on the day of my birth in November, 1948. Not long after that my parents purchased a brand new home in the southeast part of town. My little world revolved around my town that did not yet have a population of even a million people. As I grew, so did the city and about the time that I was entering my teen years a professional baseball team that would play in the the National League came to town calling themselves the Colt .45s. They played in an outdoor stadium that attracted mosquitoes and tropical heat. None of that deterred those of us who were fans of baseball from buying cheap seats in the outfield for great entertainment on summer evenings. I suppose that it was way back then when I developed my love of the hometown boys of summer. Those were halcyon days that made us believe that we had our own field of dreams.

Eventually a local promoter named Judge Roy Hoffeinz came up with the seemingly ridiculous idea of building an indoor stadium that would keep us cool on even the hottest days with air conditioning and cushy seats. In the meantime as with most things related to guns the name of the team became controversial to some and in the end a compromise was made to change the name of the team to the Houston Astros. It seemed an apt title given that Houston was the center of the space exploration universe at about that time, and we had grown and grown as a city.

At first the big domed stadium that Hoffeinz built appeared to have been a boondoggle because the grass would not grow in the insulated environment. Not to be discouraged by a little problem, efforts were made to create an artificial turf that would become known as Astroturf. It worked and yet again Houston rose above it’s doubters, a trend that seems to be part of the city’s DNA.

Another major hiccup occurred when the glare of the sun on the roof made it almost impossible for the players to catch fly balls. They would look up and be blinded, a situation that was untenable in baseball. The laughing began anew but would not last for long as creative minds engineered ideas that eventually solved the problem. The Astrodome became known as the Eighth Wonder of the World, but the team itself was not quite as lauded. Still we loved our Houston Astros and attending a game was always a great treat. We watched the uniforms and the roster change as the owners and managers did their best to bring the city a winning season. We got close now and again, but much like the city itself there always seemed to be a bump in the road that brought us back to the reality that nobody in the world loved Houston and our Astros as much as those of us who lived here did.

I grew older and Houston grew bigger, while the Astrodome became a shadow of its former glorious self. We needed a new stadium to reflect the grandeur of our city and so we built a park on the site of the old train station where so many had first encountered Houston in their quest for a better life. Somehow it seemed a fitting place, especially to me because in the long ago my grandfather had lived in a rented room not far from where the stadium now stands. The team itself would flux and flow, sometimes seeming to be in reach of glory and at other times playing to near empty crowds while losing more games than any other team. Nonetheless there were those who kept the faith even in the leanest of times. It’s what we tend to do in Houston, a city built on impossibilities that somehow always became possible. After all, who would have thought that an inland city would one day boast one of the busiest ports in the country?

My mother led our clan in cheering the Astros through one season after another. She eventually became too old and weary to navigate the ramps and stairs at the ballpark but she never missed a game on the radio. Lying in the dark she let her imagination take her out to the ballgame. and her love for the Astros remained loyal and unabated. She knew every player’s name and stats. She offered armchair advice, and she taught us to be as true to our team as she was, something that was not always easy as we watched our shining moments come and go.

The colors of the uniforms changed as often as the roster of players. We went to the American League and had to become accustomed to a whole new group of opponents. We sometimes sat in the magnificent park with so my empty seats that I wondered how the owners were going to be able to pay to keep the lights operating. History plodded onward and we remembered our favorite players of old like Jose Cruz, Nolan Ryan and those wonderful “Killer Bs” who took us all the way to the World Series only to go down in flames in four games. Still, nothing could deter us from loving our Astros.

This season our beloved team showed sparks of brilliance again and again. We dared not hope that maybe, just maybe this would be Houston’s year as they took one victory after another. By August it was clear that they had a shot at history, but then a hurricane came to town leaving many of our citizens devastated by floodwaters. For a moment our attention was diverted from baseball and concentrated on saving and helping our neighbors. We wondered how we would ever move beyond the destruction and what would become of our city. We were as low as we have ever collectively been, but in the spirit of who we are we came together just as we always do. We demonstrated to the world what Houston is about. It became clear as we saw everyone pitching in to help why we truly want to live here.

Once we had gone back to school and work and the tasks of solving the problems made apparent by the storms, we looked up and noticed that the Astros were still on a trajectory to success. We watched as they moved forward and became the living symbol of all of our own hopes and dreams and beliefs about our town and its people. They drew us together just as the floods had done, only this time we felt happy. We loved them even more deeply for giving us this wonderful gift at the very time when we most needed it. Our city became intoxicated with Astros fever. We knew that we had all earned this moment in time. It somehow seemed inevitable that our team would win it all, and of course they did.

I’ve thought all the way back to those early days when everyone thought that the very idea of Houston was ridiculous. Nobody ever imagined that it would become the fourth largest metropolitan area in the country. Nobody believed that the baseball team in the crazy rainbow uniforms would ever amount to much. Nobody thought that we would be able to recover from the utter devastation that befell us only weeks ago. Most of the experts thought that once the Astros met with a team of the Dodgers’ caliber they would fold. Those of us who love Houston believed and believed and believed again and again and this time our team understood what they had to do. They won the World Series stunning those who just don’t understand how we Houstonians are. For those of us who live here, there was no mystery at all. Houston just might be the greatest place to live on planet earth and it has nothing to do with beauty or lack of problems and everything to do with its people. Thank you Astros for demonstrating the spirit of this grand city. We will never forget how wonderful you made us feel.

What Would Jesus Do?

15245699_GHer name is Rosa Maria. She is ten years old and has cerebral palsy. She’s just had gallbladder surgery and is being released from the hospital with her aunt by her side. She wears a pair of pink fuzzy slippers and a balloon waves over the hospital bed on which she is being transported. She is confused and frightened because an armed man walks behind her. He is a member of ICE and is taking the little girl to a detention center because she is an undocumented immigrant who came to the United States when she was only three months old. Her mother brought her across the border so that she might get the medical care that she will need for all of her life. Her grandfather and her aunt are legal and they take her to her appointments just as she was brought to San Antonio for her recent surgery. She will go to the detention center without her aunt or her mom. She will be kept there, alone and wondering what is happening. It can’t be easy for her. She is young and innocent but she is being treated like a criminal.

Maritza lives in northeast Houston. She attends Furr High School and is one of the top students. Her modest home flooded when hurricane Harvey dumped fifty one inches of rain on Houston. The rooms are now empty and life is difficult for her family, but Maritza’s mom urges her to make the most of each day in spite of the family’s problems. Maritza is also an undocumented immigrant. She was planning to enroll with the government to extend her grace period for being here. Because of the rains Maritza was unable to meet the deadline for submitting the paperwork. She had been waiting for information from her school, but it was so damaged that it did not open in time for her request to be honored. Now Maritza worries that she will be deported and all of her hopes and dreams will evaporate. She had been on track to attend a Texas university and earn a degree, the first in her family to do so. She is a good girl who had nothing to do with her illegal entry into the country. She has studied hard and worked to be a model citizen even though that distinction is not offered to her. She had hoped that Congress would offer an extension to the young undocumented students of Houston, but they have refused.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions has said that it is not compassionate to offer amnesty to those who have broken the immigration laws. He and the President and many members of Congress concur that those who flaunted the rules must pay for their crimes. So Rosa Maria and Maritza and others who have known no other home than the United States presently live in fear of being sent to countries of which they have little or no familiarity. Their lives have been upended and they continually live in fear of the moment when someone will knock on their doors and take them to a detention center just as was done with Rosa Maria. Their ultimate fates are uncertain, dependent on a Congress that has shown little inclination to work together to accomplish anything, much less pass a permanent law that will protect them. They worry that they will become victims of the current anti-immigrant ardor that has taken hold of so many citizens, most of whom care little about the personal stories of those affected.

There is a kind of coldness of heart, a meanness that is sweeping the land in a so-called effort to make America great again. Many citizens view the immigrant situation through a narrow lens that does not allow for exceptions. Surprisingly a fair number of those who are so adamant that the undocumented should be sent to their original homes have never even met any so called illegals. They have little idea of the human cost of decisions that do not consider the unexpected consequences of their thinking. They suggest that they might be willing to offer a DACA like law for the young people, but only if it includes the building of a wall between the United States and Mexico and if there are strict penalties for those who came here without documentation as adults. Sadly it appears that none of those things will garner enough votes to pass, and so the fates of Maritza and Rosa Maria and others like them hang in the political balance.

I live in the Houston, Texas metropolitan area. It is estimated that that ten percent of the students in the Houston Independent School District are undocumented and were brought here by their parents at a time when they wee too young to have any idea of what was happening. They have lived here for the entirety of their lives and know no other ways. They speak English and have adopted many of our customs in addition to those of their parents. They cheer for the Astros, the Texans, the Rockets and the Dynamos. They wear western gear when the rodeo comes to town. They enjoy going to movies and shopping at the mall. They have friends at school and teachers who care deeply about them. They like to eat Whataburgers and buy groceries at HEB. They feel as American as any of their peers and yet they hide the secrets of their situations. For a time after President Obama signed DACA through an executive order they felt safe. They began to dream. Many of them went to college and earned degrees. They have been working and living decent and productive lives. Now a shadow hovers over them. They have no idea what they will become of them. President Trump gave Congress six months to pass legislation to fix the problem. The clock is ticking and no solution appears to be on the horizon. Nobody seems willing to budge from their ideologies to help them. They can only wait and hope but their fears grow with each passing day.

Rosa Maria still sits alone in a detention center without her mother or the love and protection of her family. It is heartbreaking to attempt to imagine what a nightmare this all must be for her. It is difficult to understand how uncaring the adults who have done this to her appear to be. Sometimes we need to remember that forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. One of the last acts of Jesus before He died on the cross was to forgive the thief who expressed his sorrow. I have always believed that this was a very purposeful act designed to show us that how we also should behave and to help us understand that nobody should be forever doomed for actions done in the past, particularly when they had no control over what happened. If we ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” I have little doubt that the answer is couched in mercy.

It’s past time for all of us to demonstrate enough compassion and trust in our fellow man to grant people like Rosa Maria and Maritza the peace of mind that they so need. We must urge our Congresspersons to think beyond their own prejudices and find it in their hearts to model kindness for all of us. I have grown weary of the fighting and ugliness that so permeates our world. It’s time for a change and this is a good place to start.

The Last Lecture

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I love to listen to the radio while I drive, but I prefer talk shows over music. I spent some time listening to conservative programs, but when I reached the point of becoming so angry that I considered shooting the bird to nobody in particular I realized that it was time to try something different. Of late I’ve been enjoying NPR where I’ve learned so many interesting and quirky things. Last week I heard about a professor at Sam Houston State University who’s offering a last lecture series. It’s based on the idea of providing one’s own elegy before death. The prof got the notion from an Oprah program that featured a guest who was dying of cancer who had given a powerful final lecture to his students. The incident was recorded and went viral after it was uploaded on YouTube. Now a number of teachers at Sam Houston are volunteering to give their own versions of final lessons for their students.

The format is interesting in that the speaker tells a brief history of his/her life and then gives advice on how to live a full and meaningful existence. Those who have agreed to lay bare their souls have found that they leave the experience feeling quite fulfilled. Their public self reflections are as helpful to them as to their listeners. They serve as reminders that we should cherish each breath that we take, and do our best to make each moment as meaningful as possible. We assume that we have miles to go before we travel down the rainbow highway, but we never really know when our time here on earth will end. It’s actually a challenging but freeing experience to look back on what we have accomplished and assess how well we have done.

The program made me wonder what I might say if I were given an opportunity to present a last lecture of sorts. What might I tell an audience that would make a difference or inspire? Where would I begin?

I’ve already written a memoir, but it focuses mostly on my mother and the trials that so defined her life. I suppose that like her my own story has a before and after all having to do with my father’s death. Literally everything in my world changed in an instant that was tragic but also hardly the end of my world. I learned that life takes twists and turns that seem impossible to overcome at the time, but in reality help us to grow and become stronger. In my own case it took a very long while for me to regain my footing. I was afraid and unsure of myself even with the amazing strength of mother to guide me. Ironically it was when I became responsible for her care after her first mental breakdown that I realized just how much courage I was capable of mustering. I was literally forced by circumstances to either sink or swim, and I chose to dog paddle my way through situations that once might have terrified me. There is strange twist in the fact that I learned how to be brave at a time when I was most afraid.

I always wanted to be a highly successful and accomplished woman, but I somehow believed that doing so meant that I needed to be rich and famous. I felt a bit ashamed that my biography was seemingly so ordinary. After all who really views a mom and a teacher as someone outstanding? I knew that I was never going to be honored as an exceptional graduate or have my name in a headline or on a marquee, but I have to admit that I made great choices that I would repeat again if I had the opportunity to live my life all over again. It felt good to quietly make a difference in my own children and my many students. There was great meaning in what I did from day to day and that has always been important to me.

If I were to share the advice that I deem to be the most important it would be to follow one’s heart. Life should be joyful, and if we are not feeling a burst of happiness and satisfaction in whatever we do, then maybe we are in the wrong place. Of course not every single day will ever be perfect, but there should at the very least be meaning and a sense of importance in whatever we choose to do. My advice for young people has been to find their passions and follow them. If they do so they will rarely go astray.

I have always attempted to be a woman of integrity. I have few secrets and most of those are things that I do not share in order to protect other people. Otherwise my life is an open book. I admit to my imperfections and do my best to improve them. I try not to judge or be self righteous. I honor and love people and accept and cherish differences. Doing so is the spice of life that makes each day more interesting. I try to be humble, but I am indeed proud of my family and my friends and the work I have done. I believe It gets one nowhere to brood over what is lacking rather than counting the blessings that are always there. Mostly I know that the key to a life well lived is found in the simple act of love. It is in giving of ourselves to the people around us that we become our very best. Being able to glance in the mirror and like what we see is a tremendous gift, but it takes hard work to achieve.

At the end of the day our possessions and our wealth mean so little. We can’t take anything with us, but we can leave behind legacies that continue to inspire long after we are gone. We never know what people will say about us as they gather to mourn but we always hope they will know and remember how much we truly cared. It is in sharing adventures and travels and learning and quiet moments that we are most likely to find our way into hearts. The best among us are always ready to listen or comfort or just laugh.

I recently answered a reference call for one of my former students. I haven’t seen him for quite some time, but when asked what kind of personality he has the words that came to my mind were sensitive and compassionate. I have forgotten his flaws and only recall his sweetness. That’s how we tend to be when someone has shown us kindness, and he always did. I suspect that every one of us would very much like to be remembered like that. I know I would.

A high school friend recently asked me what I would write about him if he were to die. He was curious to know what kind of man I perceive him to be. I was happy to be able to tell him what a positive impact he has had on this world. He possesses high principles and constantly strives to live up to the standards that he has developed as a guideline for living. He has done an excellent job in that regard so I have little doubt that if he were to deliver a last lecture it would be quite compelling just as I know he would want it to be.

It is said that each of us is forgotten within two generations, left to become dust blowing in the wind. It truly matters not whether or not we are remembered in the future, but it is important to be well regarded in the present. If we are careful to consider the needs of those that we encounter even if it only means smiling to make them feel happy, then we are on the right track. It doesn’t take much to find that little bit of heaven right here on earth so long as we simply celebrate ourselves and the people that we encounter along our way. 

Be the Constant

6974a8afa0995a02d81f621b983bdae2I’ll be turning sixty nine years old this month and quite frankly the past twelve months have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I have at times felt total disillusionment and at others great optimism. I did not care for nor trust either of our presidential candidates and little has happened in the ensuing time to change my feelings. It pains me to watch the wreckage created by the two individuals who vied to be leaders of our nation. I doubt that a victory by either one of them would have been less disappointing. I have to admit that my faith in our political system has been seriously tested, and yet it has somehow managed to remain intact just as James Madison had hoped that it might. The gridlock that is preventing too much damage to our nation is frustrating, but it is working to keep the damage to a minimum while I wait for our country to return to its senses.

I’ve been buffeted by tremendous personal challenges almost all year long. They have sapped my energy and sometimes left me wallowing in a pity party of doom and gloom, but again and again it has been in my encounters with the innate goodness of people that my faith in mankind has been renewed. In spite of all that has happened the one constant has been the human inclination to rise above the muck and the mud. I have witnessed the courage and kindness of family, friends and complete strangers throughout this sometimes insane passing of the months from one to another. Each incident that threatened to leave me in a state of depression and loss of hope was balanced with enough love to tip the scales in favor of the positive. I was reminded that people are not innately evil, but instead are wondrously remarkable.

My husband’s stroke was horrific and I still worry incessantly, and yet in that moment I had to totally surrender myself to faith in God and the people who so graciously helped and supported him. In the first moments my children and grandchildren proved themselves to be exactly the kind of people that I needed them to be, and they have been ever faithful since then. The firefighters and paramedics who came to our aid were heroic and compassionate. The doctors and nurses who cared for my husband in the hospital were professional and performed in a manner that no doubt saved his life. The medical personnel that we saw once we had returned home have demonstrated care and concern well beyond an impersonal relationship. They have celebrated our victories with as much joy as we have felt. Our friends have reached out with prayers and good wishes that have sustained us and reminded me of how truly blessed I have always been.

Hurricane Harvey devastated my beloved city and other parts of Texas that have always been special to me. I was trapped inside my home for days as the rains came down incessantly. I watched the human misery caused by the rising waters and cried for the pain that so many citizens and even close friends and family members were enduring. At the same time I witnessed heroic acts of bravery and thoughtfulness. In the aftermath I saw an outpouring of strength and love that reminded me of something that I have always known, namely that people are marvelous. I saw a love fest unfolding in Houston that not even fifty one inches of rain was able to drown.

It’s been difficult for me to watch friends suffering. I’ve attended far too many funerals and prayed for more who are seriously ill. Nonetheless my sadness has been tempered by my awe at the valor that I have seen. Somehow we always rise above our troubles and find ways to make the most of our most terrible situations.

Yes, I have watched in horror as a man of pure evil so cowardly took aim at innocents attending a concert in Las Vegas. He did his best to kill our spirit but in the end ordinary people rose up to defeat his hatred with their love. I’ll admit that a thief stole my husband’s identity and filed a false claim for disaster relief, but two amazing women from FEMA took immediate action to ameliorate our fears. With both calmness and resolve they methodically ferreted out the individual who had abused the generosity of the public trust, all the while speaking with genuine empathy about the terrible losses that they had seen since coming to our city from far away places just to help us to rebuild.

I have been angered and embarrassed by the fighting amongst our so called leaders. Their rhetoric and their lies have disappointed me. I have felt a sense of shame that nobody has been willing to be honest and forthright until some incredibly brave and noble public figures have been willing to speak out against the degradation of our institutions. I have marveled at the heroics of John McCain, George W. Bush, Jeff Flake, and Senator Corker. They have restored my belief that our democratic nation welcomes constructive critiques and honesty. They have reminded us that we need not defile others with our words and actions to maintain our nation’s greatness.

I have watched our hometown baseball team, the Houston Astros, demonstrating the kind of determination that has fueled the engine of our city since its inception. Their unwillingness to give up even in the face of defeat has inspired all of us. They have become the face of our hopes and dreams and optimism. They remind us that it is never too late and that we should never resign ourselves to the difficulties of challenges.

So in the past year I have learned that life may sometimes be gut wrenchingly arduous, but there will always always be people who will walk with us and support us. Each morning that we arise for a new day is a victory. We may feel as though we are overwhelmed with evil and hardship, but the world tilts toward virtue. We may think we are alone, but we never really are. Keep the faith. Never say never. Be the constant.

A Friend, A Teacher, An Angel

NinaIt’s always shocking to lose a friend, a peer who shared school days and fun times on weekends when we were young and beautiful and so full of promise. It’s even more terrible when one is unaware that such a person is forever gone. There is not just sadness in such situations, but a certain amount of regret and maybe even guilt. The feelings of loss bear down just a bit more when considering the “might have beens” that never quite took place.

I wrote about one of my classmates last week who had died. My friends and I were surprised to learn that he had been living nearby for quite some time, and we had no idea that he was so close to us. We were unable to locate him for our class reunion and we admittedly missed him. It would have been nice to see him one more time. Instead we were left with only memories of a long ago time, and questions about what we might have done to keep our friendship with him vibrant during the years when we only heard rumors about where he was and how he was doing. While talking about the days when we were all students and the different directions we took as adults one of my old school chums mentioned that another classmate of mine who had been a good friend had died. I was stunned because I had been communicating with her not that long ago and had been wondering why she had seemingly gone silent.

Nina Story Donigan was always a beautiful soul in every possible way. She and I went to grade school together and then enrolled in the same high school where we spent many a weekend with a group of like minded friends searching for a good time as teenagers do. Eventually Nina and I even went to the same university and took many of the same classes. I always enjoyed sitting next to her during lectures and hearing about her romances while I talked about mine. It always felt so comfortable and uncomplicated with her, but we were both quite busy most of the time. As our adult lives unfolded there would often be many years between our reunions, but somehow we always found our way back to each other if only by way of long and excited telephone conversations. It was as always though we had spoken only minutes before even when it had been a very long time. We were spiritually connected souls in so many ways and we were always making promises that when our lives calmed down just a bit we would get together in person, have some lunch or just sit and talk at a kitchen table.

Nina was a striking woman with long blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes that seemed to twinkle with a bit of impishness. She rarely spent much time primping and grooming herself because she didn’t need to do so. She was a natural beauty. I always thought that she had an angelic glow about her that enhanced her loveliness. It came from the generosity and compassion that she bore in her soul. It was that characteristic that made her a great friend, a loving mom, and a masterful teacher.

Like me, Nina spent most of her life working with young people. She was one of those teachers who put not just her head, but her heart and soul into her work. She had caught the teaching bug just as I had and whenever we talked she was hardly able to contain the excitement that she felt from being in a classroom. I could hear her commitment in her voice and I often imagined the look of determination in her azure eyes and the upward curve of her satisfied smile.

Last year Nina appeared to be looking forward to our Class of 1966 fifty year reunion just as I was. During the planning stages she advocated going all out with a dinner and a dance in a nice place. It seemed quite clear to me that she would be there with bells on, and I really looked forward to giving her a big hug and exchanging more promises to renew our long standing friendship in earnest. I was rather surprised when she was a no show, and sadly it never occurred to me that something might be wrong. I simply accepted that she had perhaps changed her mind about attending the celebration, but I truly missed her and felt more than a tinge of disappointment.

Life took me by the hand and whisked me away in a buzz of activity after that. When I no longer saw posts from Nina on Facebook I didn’t think that anything was wrong. Many of my friends had grown weary of commenting and simply dropped out of the conversations. Besides the constantly changing algorithms that make Facebook a bit different every other week seemed to eliminate huge swaths of many of my former friends. I felt sure that we would find a way to talk again just as we had over the long course of our casual and easy going friendship.

I was unaware that Nina was quite ill. She did not share this information in posts or any other ways. I chastise myself even now for not checking on her and for assuming that her absence only meant that she was busy with something else. I knew that she always seemed to lead a very active life. She was one of those people who grabbed opportunities and took risks, making her days quite fun and adventurous. She was also someone who became so involved in helping others that it often took more than a lion’s share of her time. Still, it would not have taken a great deal of effort for me to give her a call and tell her how I had missed her at our grand event. I would have enjoyed having one of those long conversations that always felt so easy with her. I would have known that she was in trouble and needed help. I have no valid excuse for why I never took the time to reach out to her.

Now I know that she died early this year, and my heart feels as though it has sustained a heavy blow. I grieve for the lost moments that we might have shared had I taken only a few minutes to reach out to her. I grieve for not being able to tell her while she was still alive how much joy she had so often brought to me. I grieve for not sharing my admiration for her. I grieve as I recall those crazy times when we went to Friday night football games, dances, and just rode around in someone’s parents’ car talking about how we were going to change the world. I grieve that I don’t think that I ever actually told her that I loved her, so I truly hope that she knew. She was quite perceptive so maybe it was clear to her that she was indeed a very important part of who I am.

Nina Story Donigan is gone and it’s difficult to imagine the world without her. She spread her joy wherever she went and remained a loving and thoughtful human throughout all of her short time with us. She lived with a kind of gusto that makes me wonder if she somehow knew that she had to grab every inch of living while she could. She was an angel while she lived on earth so its not a stretch of my imagination to envision that she is now an official angel in heaven. I will miss wondering when our next phone call will come, but I feel so blessed to have known her and talked with her when I did. She taught me much about meeting challenges and grabbing hold of experiences and never taking anything or anyone for granted. It is so like her to continue teaching even after she is gone. Somehow Nina has reminded me that I must never again be so cavalier about a special friendship. I have learned in a horrible way that we need to declare our love for one another in the moment when are feeling it, and never wait for the day that might never come.