The fun of life is figuring out where the rest of it goes.   —-Unknown

I learned a long time ago that even with the best laid plans, life often takes unexpected turns. Sometimes those happenings are horrific, requiring us to find courage and to adapt to new realities. Other times seem to be perfectly planned where every aspect of life smoothly goes just as we hoped they would. As we start each and every day we have no idea which of the two realities of living will take hold. 

Serendipity is not always a bad thing. Quite often an unexpected turn of events ends up being so much better than we thought they might be. I minored in mathematics because those classes were generally less labor intensive than the English classes of my major. I saw myself sitting on a stool wrapped in a shawl inspiring students to enjoy classic literature and in turn learn to write like professionals in their own right. As fate would have it the first job that I landed after graduation was a gig teaching math to students in grades six through eight. Once I had that experience on my resume any job offering was strictly for teaching math. I never sat on that stool or donned a shawl. Instead I stood all day long walking from one student desk to another to make certain that I had conveyed important skills well enough that my charges developed confidence in manipulating numbers. That turned out to be the best surprise of my life.

I have also found myself over and over again adjusting my roadmap to take on the care of members of my family. For a time I was balancing work, raising my daughters and supporting my mother through bouts of mental illness. My responsibilities tied me down, kept me living close to my mom so that I might rush to her side whenever she needed help. My horizons narrowed somewhat save for vacations but all in all I have still been able to travel and read enough to keep from being unaware of the world at large. At the same time I was proud of the support that I gave my family, my occupation and my mom. I learned how to multitask and still find balance in my life. I can honestly say that my life has had meaning, clear purpose that has made it much more rewarding than it might have been. 

Sometimes I ponder the miracle of every life. In the long arch of history millions of things had to happen for my story to unfold. Any change in the past might have meant that I would not even be here or that my biography would be totally different. It’s a stunning thing to think about. The what ifs in our lives demonstrate just how one tiny thing can change the course of history. The question becomes whether or not we would actually want that to happen. While we do indeed have personal control over our lives each of us realize at one time or another that those outside forces erupt like earthquakes to rattle our plans that may have seemed so secure. 

Because I lost my father as a child I have often wondered what I would be like if he had not taken a drive that ended in his death that night. What if he had stayed home and we had carried out our plans to move to a new home in a new neighborhood where I would have attended a different school and made different friends. Almost everything about me would have been so different. When I deeply imagine how that would have been I realize that it is a silly thing to even consider. 

Stephen King once wrote a story about a man who was able to enter a time machine that took him back to weeks before John F. Kennedy was assassinated. It was an exciting tale in which the man had to move back and forth from the present to the past in an attempt to change the course of history by saving Kennedy from his horrific fate. Ultimately he realized that each attempt that he made to redirect the past ended up destroying some aspect of the present so in his final pass into history he put things back exactly as they had been. 

The truth is that every life unveils a combination of joy and sorrow. It is inevitable that suffering will come our way in one form or another. Sadly some people get more of the horrific than the terrific. Nonetheless we are not just being moved around in some kind of preordained game which negates the power that we have to navigate our own lives. Even in the worst of times we have choices as to how to adapt. While our fortunes may sometimes seem unfair we don’t have to sit and stew. We can heal from our blows even as doing so often takes so much effort.

`If I critique my own life I certainly see things than I might have handled better but I have crossed those bridges and simply need to learn how to be better from my failed experiences. Stewing over the past or whining about the unfairness of the present is a futile way to live. I prefer to keep moving forward with the same positive outlook that has helped me reach this moment in time. I have learned that challenges are never fun but somehow I always I find ways to deal with them.

All in all I have been most fortunate. The horrors in my life have been few compared to those that I see others facing. I tell myself that it is my duty not to simply ignore them. I am of the opinion that my good luck requires me to advocate for those who have been burdened much more than I have. That is how I can change the world. Wishful thinking is fruitless but caring about the fate of others is the key to a meaningful life. It balances our fate and provides a wonderful sense of the kind of control that we need to feel as though we really are in charge of our destinies.