Author: Sharron Burnett

Our smart phones are remarkable tools. In many ways they operate like something out of science fiction. I can use my phone to send emails, texts, and make phone calls. If I wish I can see the person with whom I am talking in real time. With voice commands I can get directions to any place I may be going. I watch movies and television programs on my phone and learn about virtually any topic on earth. Not even the great library of Alexandria housed the depth of knowledge that is available on the tiny instrument that I carry in my pocket or my purse. I use my phone for games and to keep track of what I eat and how much I exercise. It has a calendar that keeps me apprised of upcoming appointments. I can even use a hotspot on my phone to provide the same kind of coverage as the Internet for my laptop. Of course, my phone has a better camera than any I ever ever before owned, allowing me to snap photos and videos wherever I go. The slender block that fits in the palm of my hand is actually more powerful than the bank of computers the helped to send men to the moon. 

Years ago, when I was a teen I remember getting stranded on Main Street in downtown Houston in the evening when all of the department stores were closed. I walked for miles before I finally found a phone, and was able to call my mom to come rescue me. That situation worked out well, but it could have been horrific. I’ve had many moments in the past when my car broke down, or I got lost when I had no recourse but to hope that I would be able to get the help that I needed without endangering my life. Such occasions were so frightening. Now I always feel somewhat safe and secure when I am out and about on my own as long as I have my phone. 

Phones get better and better all of the time, so I often wonder what the creators of the software will think of next for improving what we already have. Honestly, I can’t think of a thing that I might need, although I do love the coordination of the iPhone with the Apple watch that provides health information like EKGs. Perhaps one day the mechanisms will be sensitive enough to send alerts to someone who is on the verge of a heart attack or a stroke. I know that right now if I fall and don’t get up, my phone and watch will work in tandem to call 911. 

I’m a true crime junkie, so I’ve listened to dozens of podcasts detailing stories of murders. Something I’ve learned from those programs is how much data can be traced from the phone of a missing person. Some people find such capabilities invasive. I find them remarkable. I’d like to think that if I were to one day become less mentally alert, that my whereabouts might be traced from my phone. 

A few years back one of my grandsons had just received a new phone as a gift from his parents. He proudly brought it with him on a trip to Colorado. At some point he realized that he was unable to find it. He had to reluctantly let his mother know that it appeared to be gone. She had put a tracking feature on the device and insisted that it was somewhere in or near the cabin where we were staying. With all of our efforts we were not able to find its whereabouts. He was crushed as we drove all the way back home. 

When we arrived at his house we sadly informed his mom that it must be back at the cabin somewhere and we hoped that the next person who went there might find it where we had been unsuccessful. His mother showed us her app and then scratched her head because it clearly showed that the phone was at her home. Still, we could not find it even after unpacking all of our bags, checking the dirty laundry and combing the inside of the truck. It was a mystery for sure. 

Because everyone was so dismayed I went back to the truck one more time and reached my hands as far down into the backs of the seats as possible. I found a kind of well under one of them. As I blindly probed, I felt something move. With a little effort I fished out the object and it was the phone. We later learned that we could actually tilt that particular seat and store things underneath it. We reasoned that somehow the phone had slipped through the crack and landed in the opening where it became lost. We might never have found it but for the tracker that my daughter kept insisting was accurate.

Some people fear the reach of technology, and I suppose that there is potential for trouble. I, however, marvel at how much better the smart phone has made life. I imagine a day when that little phone will make more and more things possible for the betterment of humankind. I wonder what they will think of next? I’m sure it will be wonderful.  

I suppose that back in 2019, when we were celebrating the end of that year and preparing for 2020, few of us had any idea how much would change in the next many months. Somehow the numbers 2020 foretold the insights into life that many of us would experience as we began to see the world more realistically. Things slowed down, kept us in a quiet state, allowed us to observe, contemplate, heal. 

I am one of those people who was always rushing from one activity to another. I planned trips, parties, activities that kept me so busy that I had little time for sitting in silence. I admit to having a mind racing so quickly in pursuit of accomplishing as much as possible in a single day, that I sometimes gave only cursory attention to conversations or even prayers. I was always thinking of my to do lists, and calendars. I potted and planned, and rushed from one thing to the next. 

Suddenly, in March of 2020, I had an empty planner save for the Zoom lessons that I held in my home. I was free to slow my pace because I was not going anywhere. One day was like another and it was difficult to cope with the silence. I threw myself into projects to stay entertained. Then I grew weary of even that, and along the way I learned how to meditate. I was able to sit quietly and listen to the sounds of my heart and my breathing. I heard to birds and insects and the whispering of the wind. I began to reassess what brought me the most joy and comfort. 

When the vaccines came I was overjoyed. I have been able to return to the outside world, but I have found that I no longer want to do many of the things that once entertained me. Eating out only entices me if it means being with family or friends. I’d just as soon pay for a movie through one of my online subscriptions as go to a theater. Shopping holds little interest, and I now tend to go straight to whatever I need and leave quickly. I mostly enjoy quiet, intimate gatherings rather than raucous parties. I prioritize my time for meditation and prayer. I feel more in tune with nature and all of the people of the world. Somehow the sacrifices and suffering of the pandemic have reminded me to focus more on people. 

I sometimes think that even those of us who did not catch the virus were still sick from the rapid pace of the world and its demands. Slowing down gave us an opportunity to reassess how to do things. Sadly, so many fought against introspection, and missed a rare moment in which to grow. They stuck with all of their old ways and refused to even consider that change comes to us in many ways. While it often challenges us, it can be just what we need to be healthier and happier versions of ourselves. 

I read that researchers are leaning more and more toward the idea that depression is a mechanism that the body uses instinctively to help with the healing process. It is a natural response to illnesses, losses, abusive situations that can actual protect us as long as it does not become too intense. Those who allow themselves to express their feelings of sorrow or lack of control often return more quickly to a state of strong mental health. Depression slows them down, alerts them to troubles, helps them to work through problems. Acknowledging difficulties is the first step to solving them. 

I suppose that in spite of the horrors and grave costs of life and income, the pandemic might have brought us closer together with all of the people of the world. Sadly, we seem to be more divided than ever. Too many insist on doing things their way, or doing nothing at all. They appear to want to turn back the clock and pretend that 2020 never happened. They missed the glorious joy of quieting their minds and viewing the world as they had never before seen it. They rejected the heeling moment that nature had provided them.

Each of us experienced loss. People that we dearly loved have left us for the next world. Some barely hung on to their security, their homes. It was a scary time, but if we do not see how many heroes rose to the occasion, then we have missed the point of it all. If we did not help in our own ways, then we do not yet understand how gloriously wonderful it feels to focus on others. Before we rush back into the race that once so consumed us, we would do well to ask ourselves how willing we have been to understand others, and change the ways that we all might live together. Have we heard the cries of injustice, inequality, need? Do we really want to continue to ignore them? Are we willing to face even ugly truths so that we might all move forward?

Our calendars are filling again. We are rushing around in pursuit of our own lives, liberties, and happiness. Our old habits are vying to overtake us again. Let us not ignore what we learned, not even if it requires us to change. I now have antibodies working inside my body to prevent the virus from harming me. Hopefully I also created antibodies in my mind that will prevent me from allowing the toxicity of neglect to continue to inflict pain and suffering on my brothers and sisters all over the world. We all can give a little so that everyone gains. 

Sometimes I tell people that I am not very lucky, but when I think about it, I realize that there have been times when I have won the jackpot. I’m a romantic at heart, someone who always believed that somewhere in the world the perfect person was searching for me. I worried that I might never encounter the man of my dreams, but I was hopeful. Somehow I literally stumbled on to meeting that person without any idea of how much my life was going to change. 

I did not even want to attend the party where it all happened. I was interested in someone else at the time, even though I don’t think that the feeling was mutual. I was hoping that somehow I might find a way to make the attraction go both ways, and the invitation to a birthday celebration was an interruption of my plans. My mom convinced me of my duty to family, and so it was with great reluctance that I fulfilled that role. 

The whole affair was rather dull for the greater part of the evening. I had already met most of those in attendance, and they felt like brothers rather than prospects for a relationship other than friendship. Without warning a new young man entered stylishly late, and I was almost immediately smitten even though he appeared to be more interested in my cousin. I felt almost giddy talking with him and later chided myself for acting like a school girl. I was both surprised and delighted when he called me later to ask me out on a date. It felt as though the heavens were acting in concert.

The date was even more wonderful than I had expected it to be. The two of us became inseparable from that time forward. I had never before felt so comfortable with being myself as when I was with him. We were two people who were totally in sync. We liked the same music, and enjoyed the same kind of conversations and activities. Soon he was pronouncing his love for me and I for him. He christened our romance with a lovely gold charm bracelet with a heart shaped charm on which he had engraved the date on which we met with the words, “Now and Forever.”

That promise is as strong as ever after fifty two years of marriage. We have had great fun together and weathered terrible storms. The comfort that we provide each other never changes. He is my best friend, my confidante, my rock. I sometimes pinch myself when I realize the tremendous odds of finding “the one” who was meant to be for me. I am forever grateful for that birthday party, and I shudder to think that I might have missed it if not for my mother. 

I received a challenge to write the first couple of stanzas of a love song that describes my love, so herewith is my lame attempt at becoming a lyricist. I call my song, “Now and Forever”

I dreamed of you before we met.

I knew you in my heart.

You came to me without warning,

And I sensed my life was set.

You are “the One”

You are “the One”

My “Now and Forever” 

You are “the One.”

We shared some fun.

We shared our dreams.

And the the heavens seemed to know 

Our heats would be as one.

You are “the One”

You are “the One”

My “Now and Forever”

You are “the One”

Challenge completed…but I think I’ll stick to writing prose. 

I was always creating bucket lists when I was young. I managed to accomplish many of my dreams over the years. Now that I am older, such lists look very different than in the past. Of course, I still have longings to visit various places around the world, but more than anything my wish list tends to focus more on the future of my children and grandchildren, and the world that my generation will leave to them. Always the optimist, I’d like to believe that we will address the many issues that threaten our planet with a determination to create a better world. 

I spent the last years of my teaching career working at KIPP Houston High School, a public charter school with distinctive philosophies about how to do things. We often took our students on trips, and we reminded them of their duty to leave each place that we visited better than it had been when we first came. A journey to New Orleans after hurricane Katrina involved working inside a damaged school. A visit to a park meant bringing trash bags and gloves to send crews of students to pick up trash. We attempted to inculcate a philosophy of sharing and caring into the lifestyles of our kids. We believed that teaching them to honor the world was as important as providing them with knowledge. We put the mantra, “Work hard, Be nice.” into action. 

I suppose that I was as affected by my time at KIPP as I hope the students were. I began to think beyond my own self interests in a more demanding way. My bucket list began to focus more on solving problems than listing fun activities that I wanted to enjoy. Since the pandemic I have begun to simplify my life more and more. I find myself enjoying quiet, simple gatherings of my favorite people instead of expensive outings. My needs have shrunk, and I am more at ease with myself than ever. Somehow the months of isolation and concern about the health of the people of the world has helped me to understand and appreciate what is really important. Thus, my new bucket list appears to be more of an action plan or political/spiritual agenda than it might once have been. It is less and less about what I want for me, and more and more about my hopes for the future. 

• I believe it is long past the time for every one of us to help contribute to the health of the planet. I’ve adjusted my thermostat so that my air conditioner and heater run less often than they once did. I keep making deliberate changes to habits that I had developed in ignorance. I spend time learning how to be more conscious of my own sins against the planet. I focus on leaving things better than they have been for a very long time. As I make sacrifices, I find that it is not that difficult to be more mindful of my own actions. I am more supportive of efforts to rethink the way we do things. I’m an old dog willing to attempt to learn new tricks because I believe that it is something that we all must do if we are to survive as people.
• I have long been a perfectionist, and as such I bristle at the thought of making terrible mistakes. I prefer compliments to critiques, but I have learned that there are times when we have to look truth squarely in the face. For too long we have ignored injustices by asserting our individual anecdotal experiences with minorities, the poor, immigrants, the LGBT community. We seem to believe that if we have been kind, then surely there is no real problem. We do not want to be reminded that there is still must work to be done to ensure equal and fair treatment for everyone. We hide inside our little bubbles refusing to consider the cries of those who insist that there are still grave difficulties for entire swathes of people. My hope is that we will begin to take our responsibilities to one another more seriously than ever before. Simply denying that there is are problems because we are personally good, is not a legitimate answer. We have to be willing to hear the experiences of people who have suffered without closing our ears or turning our gazes. Then we have to actually do something about the problems that exist without making excuses or worrying that our own privileges might change. 
• It’s time that we all accept the old adage that no human is an island. Sharing our knowledge, our resources and our freedoms should not be a political game. Instead it should be a natural way of living. Every person on this earth is as important as I am. It is only by sheer luck that I ended up being born in a land of plenty and freedom with loving parents. I had incredible opportunities from the moment that I breathed my first breath. Even though I was beset with challenges and had to work hard, I have lived a gloriously secure life compared to so many of my fellow humans. I believe that those who have more are duty bound to share more, and not just the dregs of leftovers. It should be our goal to uplift as many others as possible, not just with financial support, but also by providing decent and affordable places to live, education, healthcare. We have to address suffering selflessly and with gratitude for our own good fortune. 

I suppose that my bucket list appears to be the mad ravings of an idealist, but I am certain that we have the power to make such things happen, if only we have the will. Sometimes we humans need a nudge to take action. Surely the universe is shaking us with great force right now. I choose not to ignore it’s warnings, for if I do, it may be very dark for my loved ones after I am gone. It’s time to face reality, and join in the efforts to repair and reconcile. It’s something that I no longer just imagine, but strive to make a reality no matter how difficult it may be. 

Each semester for many years now my husband and I have taken a course from the Rice University Glasscock School of Continuing Education. The offerings are are always exceptional, and, if I had endless funds, I would sign up for multiple classes during each session. Instead I focus on one topic at a time, generally choosing history over anything else. One of the the conclusions that I have reached is that while we humans have generally progressed in knowledge and technology, our natures remain somewhat the same. Throughout history people have tended to engage in recurring cycles of enlightenment followed by prohibition. It is as though we desire to evolve as societies, but also fear going too far in changing our ways. Much of the push and pull in the story of humankind has a discernible pattern. When we study our ancestors, we begin to realize that there is a tension caused by our conflicting beliefs in what constitutes a better world. This continual tug of war is a source of misunderstanding, conflict and even war. 

In following the long threads of my family tree, I learned that the paternal side of my family traces its roots back to the Norsemen of old. Eventually my people found their way to Normandy and then to England. I am distantly related to Norman kings and later to Oliver Cromwell’s family, something that made me proudful until I learned more about those ancient relations in the history classes that I took. In particular, I realized that Oliver Cromwell may have advocated for freedoms, but only on his own terms. He was in fact consumed with a religious fervor that had little room for beliefs contrary to his own. He had a bad habit of sending his followers to formerly Catholic churches to destroy any icons of the Catholic faith. Freedom for him was far more restrictive than would be comfortable to me. 

So it is in my own country of the United States of America today. We are a government founded on a revolution, but tempered by a tendency to change slowly. We speak often of our freedoms, which are many, but fill our law books with limits to what we allow the citizenry to do. The progressives are more often than not at odds with the conservatives, and while there is supposed to be a separation of church and state, religion has often insinuated itself into our democratic processes. While I am a firm believer in our democratic republic, I have learned too much about its weaknesses over time to but my head in the sand when it comes to our history. As with all societies, ours has been ordered by humans, which by definition means that there are imperfections. Good intentions are often mixed with flawed philosophies and beliefs. That is why I contend that it is always important to have a hearty mixture of voices in our politics, rather than a group of people walking in lockstep. We members of the electorate should applaud the disparate voices rather than condemning those who question thinking and suggest alternatives. 

There are certain facts of history that demonstrate truths. We know that Thomas Jefferson’s brilliant mind helped to create a government with the potential to bring freedom more uniformly to people of all persuasions. We also know that when he spoke of certain unalienable rights, they did not apply to everyone at that time. His freedoms were limited to white males, excluding women and most notably, slaves. There is nothing innately wrong with critiquing Jefferson by praising his foundational principles while also noting his exceedingly contradictory flaws. Dissecting the truth, is not a sign of disloyalty to our country, but rather a healthy way of discussing the complexities of humans that create both good and bad situations in the same breath. 

We can see very clearly that allowing slavery to exist side by side with our remarkable freedoms was intrinsically wrong, and ultimately a huge mistake that led to a civil war, and continues to haunt our society to this very day. Remaining ignorant of the horrific things that came before us does little to help us to create a pathway to a better. It is in viewing the missteps of the past that we have a greater chance of improving. It is not hateful to admit that those who came before us committed transgressions. It is simply a recitation of facts from which we might learn. 

If I had the occasion to send a message in a bottle, it would be to encourage all people everywhere to temper their tendencies to adhere to a single way of thinking. It is only in opening our minds, exploring and learning from the past, and hearing the concerns of others that we will ever create a truly inclusive society. When fifty of our senators walk and think in tandem, we are in trouble. When we refuse the process of give and take in favor of doing nothing to preserve an ironclad wall of political beliefs, we are in trouble. If we do not break down the tribalism that has tainted all of history in favor of embracing our diversity, the conflicts and the wars will continue. Human suffering will be alive and well, just as it has been for centuries. 

We should be encouraging all people everywhere to join in a quest for knowledge and truth. History should not be left only for those interested enough to do the research. It is healthy and beneficial to learn how human frailties and missteps led to horrific situations that need not have occurred had societies understood how to watch for problems. Courage and patriotism are most evident when John McCain gives a thumbs down or Liz Cheney voices her beliefs or Bernie Saunders challenges us to consider new ways of thinking. We all benefit most when truth is allowed to flourish and diversity of thought is encouraged. 

Do not be afraid to parse the past. Learn and understand just how complex we humans are. See the patterns. Share the facts. It is an exercise in democracy in it finest form.