All It Takes Is A Little Love

Does anyone really know exactly what is in those regular tacos from Jack in the Box? I recognize the lettuce, the hot sauce, the cheese and even the fried corn tortilla that holds it all together, but what is that mashed meat-like substance in the middle? It’s a conundrum that has haunted me for years. In spite of my misgivings I have been an avid fan of those darn things for as long as I can remember. If it’s lunchtime and I am in a pinch I love seeing a Jack in the Box drive through where I can order two regular tacos and a medium diet coke for around five dollars. it’s a perfect meal that tastes good and fills me up, but niggle in the back of my mind worries me. I really do believe that I am eating something that maybe should not got into my body. Luckily I have never had a bad reaction to that combination and so it has become by go to order on those now rare occasions when I actually imbibe in fast food.

A few years back we took two of our grandchildren to California. On the way there we stopped by the Grand Canyon and watched the sunset in that magnificent place. As we were driving back to our campground later in the evening we all suddenly felt hungry, but had a difficult time finding somewhere to stop for a bit of nourishment. The only place that appeared to be open was a McDonald’s much to my chagrin. While I have never become ill from consuming my Jack in the Box tacos, I almost always have a very bad reaction to McDonald’s food unless I order a Happy Meal or an Egg McMuffin. I did not think that it was a particularly good idea to eat something that might have bad consequences for the long drive that lay ahead of us the next day, so I was in a quandary as to how to sate my hunger. I decided that my best bet was to order an Egg McMuffin which just happened to be available twenty four hours a day at that time. It was a blessing not to have to consume anything else.

I’m generally not a fan of fast food restaurants. I don’t even particularly like Chic-Fil-A which seems to place me in the minority when it comes to my family. If I want chicken I much prefer going to Popeye’s, but it’s not always easy to find one of them and as I grow older like fried foods less and less. If I had the power to choose only one place that would be available anywhere that I went, it would be Whataburger. I like the Whataburger Junior meal with a small diet Coke and the spicy ketchup for my fries. It has the perfect taste and comes in just the right size, and not once has it made me sick. For me it is the essence of perfection if I have to grab something quickly and be certain that the quality will always be there. Sadly it’s difficult to find Whataburger in most places in the United States which we found out on that same road trip to California when my grandchildren were craving Whataburgers rather than In-N- Out.  

The absolute best drive thru that I ever encountered was a Portillo’s in the Chicago area. Their menu is divine and caters to meat lovers like my husband and those who prefer an excellent and fresh salad like me. He always wants a polish sausage with onions on a big bun while I prefer the chopped salad which is to die for. For desert lovers there are huge slices of cake that are more like your mama used to make than something one would expect to find in a fast food place. 

Portillo’s knows to expect large crowds at lunchtime so they have perfected a system for lining up the cars and taking the orders that is so quick that customers almost never stop moving. I don’t know how they do it given the enormous menu and the quality of the food. If a Portillo’s ever came to the Houston area it would be an instant hit and I for one would become a regular customer. 

I’ve enjoyed traveling with my trailer behind our truck these days. When we’re hungry we can go inside and prepare our own food. I know what the ingredients are and everything is fresh. I don’t have to worry that I will get caught having to eat something that disagrees with me. These days I enjoy vegetables and fruit much more than meat, and for some reason I only like sandwiches if I have prepared them myself. I suppose that I have become much too finicky and far less adventurous with my eating than I once was. I’d rather so inside a grocery store to choose the things that sit well with me than to take my chances at a Taco Bell. 

Fast food has become a way of life in America. Back when I was young we had Prince’s Hamburger drive ins where we ordered food from a waitress who came out to the car. The food was actually quite good but the company was locally owned and eventually mostly went out of business. As a kid I loved going to James’ Coney Island for hot dogs but in downtown Houston where you had to go inside and snake through a long line to get the best hot dogs I have ever eaten. We also had a local hamburger joint called Chuck Wagon that was fast, but we still had to walk up to order our food. Those places were the absolute best and I don’t think that the fact that I was just a kid when I craved their food diminishes the quality of what we got back then. 

I can hardly recall the last time I stopped at a fast food restaurant or even ate out. I’ve become an old fuddy duddy who would literally rather be a bit hungry than eat just anything. To look at me you would think that I munch on fried foods and junk all of the time, but I’ve all but given up those things. Give me an apple and a few slices of really good cheese and I am content until the next meal. The only fast food I now crave is Whataburger and if Portillo’s ever comes to town I’ll be the first in line for a yummy chopped salad. Of course I’m still willing to get my two regular tacos at Jack in the Box as well. It’s funny how I still don’t mind that mystery meat.

It is true that our world is still uncomfortably dependent on fossil fuels. It is also true that this dependence is having a negative effect on our environment. Truths abound when it comes to our relationship with oil and gas. We know that it would be wise to set our sights on improving alternative forms of energy, but the truth is that we are years away from reaching the goals needed to wean ourselves away from the black gold flowing throughout our economy. In truth we have to keep the engines of our industry roaring, and at this moment in time the demand for oil worldwide is causing a spike in prices that burdens our already stretched budgets. With the added tension of a boycott of Russian oil by most western nations, including ours, our resolve to support the cause of justice for Ukraine is truthfully being stretched to the breaking point. So with all of these truths how should we choose to react to the current crisis? 

First, it would be wise to go back to March of 2020, a moment when the whole world was bowing under the weight of Covid 19 illnesses and deaths. Even the worldwide medical community was still learning about how to deal with the deadly virus as nursing homes and hospitals were being overwhelmed. Businesses were tanking as customers no longer came and workers stayed home sick. We shut down for a time hoping to flatten the curve and learn more about how to save lives. The virus took us on a global roller coaster ride and our uncertainties about how to react began to fray our patience and our willingness to work together not just as a nation, but as a worldwide community to overcome the vagaries of Covid-19. 

Just before all of this began the world of oil and its commerce was not doing well. Former students of mine who had earned college degrees in difficult fields like petroleum and mechanical engineering found that there were no jobs waiting for them. In fact, the major players in the oil business and its related subsidiaries had begun to encourage older workers to take early retirement while not filling their positions with new employees. With remote working and learning becoming the norm for a time, the lack of demand for oil only exacerbated the problem. The cost of a barrel of oil fell to record lows and the layoffs of workers began in earnest in April of 2020, smack dab in the middle of the early days of the pandemic. I was acutely aware of these problems because I live in the Houston area which has at times been known as the oil capital of the United States. The energy corridor of the city was as decimated by the low price of oil as hospitals were by Covid deaths. It was a dark time when many people that I knew suddenly found themselves unemployed when there was not an abundance of alternative jobs for them to take, but gas prices were delightfully low. 

January of 2021, brought vaccines and a lull in cases of Covid that created a demand for just about everything. Suddenly everyone was feeling optimistic and filling the roads and stores and spending money. Demand for goods and services outstripped supply causing shortages and long waits, but the good news was that the economy was beginning to hum again. It would need to adjust, but the signs were looking better as those who had endured most of the pandemic without incomes suddenly found opportunities for work. This great rush of activity and movement was a boon for oil companies and their investors. The price of a barrel of oil continuously rose as did the sticker at the gas pump. By the end of 2021, oil stocks and oil profits had achieved historical records. Despite inflation life seemed to be moving in the right direction. 

Then Vladimir Putin decided to invade the democratic country of Ukraine and the western world aligned in a determination to punish Putin by doing major damage to his economy. One of the boycotts involved in the plan was to refuse to purchase Russian oil. Thus after two weeks of hell for the Ukrainian people as their nation has been torn apart by the invading Russians, the price of oil in the United States jumped dramatically, testing our national resolve to hold firm to the plan to topple Putin by way of the Russian economy. Instead of feeling proud to bite a bullet and sacrifice for the cause, many among us are whining about the cost of fuel while also falsely claiming that our predicament is totally the fault of President Biden and the Democrats, a ridiculous and false argument when faced with the facts. 

Oil is part of a global market. The price is never determined by a single country or person. It is a complex process that often seems to have a life of its own. It is a system entangled with a hierarchy of investors, governing boards, administrators and workers all intent on making profits. Right now our country produces most of the oil used in the United States. Less than ten percent comes from Russia. The production comes from a variety of players including the big companies and small independent owners who are free to decide when and how much they are willing to produce for the market. As of this moment over 4400 wells with permits to drill are sitting dormant. They could come alive at any moment but for now the owners do not wish to spend the money needed to hire workers to get the oil in them moving again. Since coming into office President Biden has given permits to more sites on government land than his predecessor. Around sixty percent of oil leases are not being used. The oil is there as are the permits to use it, but the companies do not feel that it is in their best interests to drill at this time. 

About eighteen years ago my husband inherited some oil and gas leases from his mother who had obtained them from her mother. For almost two decades nothing has happened on them. We often get no payments or checks that are so minuscule that they would hardly buy a cup of coffee from Starbucks. This is not because of government policies, but a choice made by the actual owners of the wells. They have determined that it is not financially rewarding to bring the sites to life once again. So we hold on to our tiny investment and joke about how little everyone understands how the industry actually works. 

The truth is that we can do a few things to weather the storm that is upon us, but mostly the behemoth known as the oil industry is bigger than any one person or political party. To insinuate that Joe Biden is responsible for our present dilemma is a false oversimplification of a complex problem. If we are to blame a single person for the sudden spike in the price of gasoline we should be pointing the finger at Putin. We should also ask ourselves if we really do care about Ukraine, because if we do then it will be up to us to have more patience than we seem capable of embracing. Our own pain at the pump will be the price we pay, but it seems minuscule when we witness the suffering of the Ukrainian people. 

We should not continue to tear each other apart the way we have been doing for the last two years. When we do that Putin smiles. We should understand that our President is doing all that he can to support the Ukrainian people while also easing our economic woes. The ball is in the hands of Putin as well as the oil producers in our country. They can do the right thing, or not. Their choices will determine how much misery the world must endure. We can choose also. We have to decide if we are willing to go the distance together or if we no longer feel any sense of responsibility to each other and to our fellow humans in the world. It’s time that we all faced truths, including the need for a future without a dependence on fossil fuels. Denying reality will get us nowhere but deeper into turmoil. I for one am ready to do my part for a worthy humanitarian cause. 

We often toss the word karma around whenever we witness someone getting what we believe are just desserts. We like to believe that good acts will eventually be rewarded and bad acts will be duly punished. In most situations such things might occur, but when a good person has bad things happen while a bad person seems to enjoy a consequence free life we begin to falter in our understanding of how life works. We desperately want to see that our actions whether good or bad result in appropriate outcomes.

Sadly we all know of individuals who are beset with suffering for no apparent reason. My mother was saintly in her behavior. It would be difficult to find a kinder more generous person who walked this earth, and yet karma seemed to have forgotten her. She watched her own mother being taken away to a mental hospital when she was still a toddler. That moment frightened her so much that the trauma stalked her for most of her life. Nonetheless, she set out to create a calm and secure existence for herself and her family. For a time it seemed as though she had succeeded in keeping the ghosts of her childhood at bay until her husband died when she was only thirty years old. She was left with three young children to raise alone on a meager income that kept her in a chronic state of anxiety. 

She succeeded in making her home a haven for her family until her own mental health began to deteriorate when she was about forty years old. She would spend the rest of her life battling ever increasing and debilitating bouts of depression, mania, and paranoia. If karma had been real and fair none of this would ever have happened to her, but it did in spite of all the good deeds that she had done. Somehow she remained kind and loving to the very end of her days, finding joy in the smallest of pleasures. 

If there was even a hint of karma for her it was found in the love that she had spread to the people around her. Upon her death those who had remained faithful to her told touching stories of times that she had brought them out of their own sorrows with a phone call or a sweet message sent in a card. Many had abandoned her because they feared her illness, but those who kept the faith with her understood how precious her unremitting love was. Perhaps in her case karma was always there but hidden under the weight of the challenges that always threatened to sideline her optimism and forgiveness.

On the other hand, I have known individuals who are selfish and abusive that never suffer like my mother did. They seem to be coated with teflon that allows them to avoid retribution for their horrific behaviors. They don’t even seem to realize how toxic they are. Somehow they always have good fortune and a following of people who actually admire their unfeeling ways. They proceed through life with little or no thought of the hurt they have inflicted on others. Karma never seems to darken their doors. 

We humans want to believe that there is a semblance of fairness in life but we too often see just the opposite. The man whose son was murdered knows that neither he nor his child deserved such a tragic end. He watches the murderer laughing and exchanging high fives while he is grieving. He wonders why he has to endure this pain. He knows that he has tried his whole life to be a good man and that his son was an innocent victim. Karma means nothing to him. 

The truth is that bad things happen to good people and good things sometimes happen to bad people. It is a conundrum for those of us who want to believe that consequences for our actions should always be appropriate. We desire rewards and positive reinforcement for our good deeds that do not always transpire. We want justice for the bad things that happen to us. Instead we live in a highly complex society in which many times we must simply be content in knowing that we are living honorable lives with only the reward of being able to feel good about ourselves. Perhaps that is all that really matters. 

I don’t believe that the person whose home burns down is receiving some kind of retribution any more than I believe that the individual who lives a life of luxury and privilege is somehow being rewarded. I think that things happen randomly and some people just have misfortunes that have nothing to do with who they are or how they live their lives. Neither God nor karma randomly inflict people with tragedy anymore than they choose others for happiness. It would be a very unfair world indeed if such were true. Instead each of us should strive to be like my mother who remained good and loving simply because she believed it was the best way to live.

Perhaps we all get our just due when we leave this earth. There are no guarantees while we are here. We are not unthinking puppets being manipulated by rewards and punishments to do right. We choose how we will live because we understand that there is a good and just way to be. We try our best to follow the good path not in hopes of getting a pat on the back, but because we know that it is right.

The past two years have been especially difficult for those who have lost loved ones either from Covid or other causes. Often the deaths have been shocking and tinged with feelings of being alone in a divisive world preoccupied with millions of individual problems. The cause of rugged individualism has been debated and refuted by those who believe that democracy demands a more communal response to the life and death of citizens. While we will probably never know exactly who is more right or wrong, we sense that discussions of how we should all behave during tough times like these is a grey area with no certain answers. 

It reminds me of a discussion that one of my high school teachers once had with us. He called it “The Walk A Mile In My Shoes” symposium. He outlined various scenarios that seemingly demanded a single way of behaving, but which actually were not as clear cut as they at first seemed to be. The world is filled with such moments when determining the best way to act or respond is not so easily defined. What may seem black and white to one person, may lead to shades of grey for another. The key to knowing what to do lies in a willingness to accept that life is almost always more complex than the simple solutions that we apply to it. 

We need to be open to the possibility that there may be exceptions to the thinking and beliefs  by which we guide our lives and those of society as a whole. We have to take all of the circumstances into account before jumping to hard and fast conclusions. Making personal decisions is one thing, but forcing those determinations on others can be difficult. We have to ask ourselves what the overall effect of a generalized rule will be before we enact it. 

I could use hundreds of examples of grey areas, but I will begin with the banning of certain books in school libraries or curriculums. It is understandable that each family has its own set of rules that often dictated by personal or religious beliefs. There is nothing wrong in honoring them, but the way to do so does not necessarily require making everyone abide by the wishes of a few. The problem can be quite easily fixed by offering students and parents choices for reading assignments rather than eradicating particular books totally. 

In fact, my own English teacher did such a thing. He required us to read and report book regularly during the school year and in the summer. While he did not allow us to choose just anything, he did have a list of hundreds of titles from which we might find works that were of interest to us. He also specified that we had to vary the genre of our choices by reading a variety of nonfiction, fiction and poetry. It gave us and our parents some control over what we were reading without totally eliminating some of the more controversial classics for everyone. Since my mom was a great believer in exploring the world by reading as much as possible without strict guidelines I probably read most of the titles that have recently been removed from libraries and curriculum. Others in my class stuck to tamer fare. 

I am personally against abortion but I do not think that I am somehow committing a grave mortal sin by believing that such a decision is extremely personal. I would not presume to judge another woman for terminating a pregnancy. In fact, I have known a number of people who felt that they had to do so. I know how difficult it was for them to reach this decision. The circumstances surrounding their pregnancies almost demanded that they find a way out and I understood why they did what they did with a heavy heart for both them and their unborn. I also grasp the argument that abortion is murder, so the whole idea of it is difficult to fathom. Nonetheless, I don’t believe that It is my right to force my feelings on women whose situations I do not know.

Do we tell the white lie of omission to spare someone’s feelings or is it always important to tell the truth? We know that killing is wrong, but how do we justify self defense or wars? Theft is wrong but if a family is starving and nobody will help is taking an apple from a market justified? History and today’s world is filled with stories in which people resorted to behaviors that most of us see as wrong simply in an effort to survive. When we hear of such incidents we understand that much in life is not as absolute as we might have thought. 

As a teacher i learned how circumstances can often lead to aberrant behavior from students. Parents who demand inordinately high grades from their children are often shocked to learn that they have cheated to keep from being punished. Children being abused sometimes turn into abusers themselves. While educators cannot condone such infractions, it is certainly up to them to get to the heart of why children commit their misdeeds. More often than not, they are attempting to shield themselves from some abuse that is driving their actions. So too it sadly is with adults. 

I have been accused of being wishy washy for believing that we have to consider the why’s and wherefores of grey area responses to various situations. I personally have a rather rigid code of conduct for myself that is derived from twelve years of religious education and my mother’s sterling example. At the same time I have learned that my good fortune of always being surrounded by kindness and love is not generally shared by everyone. The horrors that so many endure force them into the dire situations that I consider to be grey areas of responding. 

I won’t ever condone outright cruelty or evil. I know that it exists and must always be punished to the fullest extent. On the other hand there are those grey areas that complicate my thinking processes just as they should. I’m not willing to join a team or a cult in condemning without great thought. When people are very afraid they sometimes react in iffy ways. It’s up to us to find out why. The world is filled with shades of grey. Understanding that just might save someone from great harm. Who are we to condemn them?

I suppose that anyone who really knows me has been wondering why I have taken so long to write about the situation in Ukraine. Then again, those who know me well realize that I often ponder situations for a long time before finally uttering my points of view. I like to have a grasp of the exact nature of events and the history that has brought people to a particular climax in their lives. I need to be able to objectively switch to reporter’s mode when I write, eschewing all of the conflicting emotions that roil inside my mind. I like to provide a more calm and studied view of the situation rather than one driven by emotions. Once in awhile, as with the death of George Floyd two springs ago, I can’t seem to muster the objectivity that I need. So it is with what I witness happening in Ukraine. 

In truth I have been unable to fully concentrate on anything that I do since threats of a Russian invasion of Ukraine became imminent. Even when I am teaching, my most enduring method of dealing successfully with sorrow, I find myself glancing down at my phone in anticipation of an announcement from that conflict. I, like much of the world, go through my days with anxiety and a heavy heart, feeling helpless to do anything that might actually help the people embroiled in a war that seemingly makes no sense to anyone but Putin. 

Then again, that is the nature of wars. They are rarely grounded in concern for the ordinary people who suffer the most from the death and damage that follows. Wars generally sweep up common folk in the power hungry desires of despots who rationalize their thirst for power with platitudes and propaganda. Wars are perhaps the biggest sins of our human natures, responsible over the span of time for millions of unnecessary deaths and the destruction of societies. 

I have studied my genealogy insofar as the limited records allow me to do so. I have learned that my very DNA is a mixture derived from western and eastern European ancestors. Half of them came from an area of the world now known as Slovakia, a small country whose western border glances on a border with Ukraine. Like Ukraine the land of my grandparents and their grandparents has been a pawn for other more powerful nations like Austria/Hungary, Germany, and Russia in the more modern eras. Somehow the people there have managed to save their language and their customs in spite of efforts to subsume them into the dominating ways of other nations. They have all too often been little more than faceless people living on land that some other government wanted to control. Thus is has too often been for the people of Ukraine, a land filled with resources that Russia and other countries have coveted for much of history.  

I feel the heart of the Ukrainian people beating with courage, but also crying out in desperation as their beautiful country is being decimated piece by piece for no reason other than the false pride of Putin who has often made it clear that he longs for the former Soviet Union and a time when Russia dominated much of Eastern Europe and its people. While most of the western world has united in its determination to condemn Putin’s blatant land grab and punishment of the people of Ukraine, our economic sanctions designed to bankrupt Russia seems to be a puny response in the face of the horror he is inflicting on Ukraine. Nonetheless the prospect of an even more globally encompassing war is something to be avoided if at all possible. 

The tension and reality of the moment is all too raw and real for all of us as we watch events unfold in real time. The need to do something, anything is so frustrating. It dampens our own feelings of safety and security that we have enjoyed for the many decades since World War II. It reminds us of the times when our parents and grandparents were engaged for years in devastating global conflicts that eventually ended with the use of a terrible nuclear weapon that we somehow wish had never been unleashed on the world. 

Somehow all of our trivial complaints and concerns seem silly when viewed against the courageous stand for democracy that the Ukrainian people are demonstrating to the world. We quibble over who is the better American, the most patriotic, because it is easy to do so in our land of free speech. We complain about higher prices for goods and services that even our parents never dreamed of having. Our homes are big and spacious. Our dinner tables are filled with plenty. We have modern conveniences that were once the domain of only the wealthy. Our children have unprecedented educational opportunities. Our medical communities are world class. 

Nonetheless, we greedily ignore those among us who struggle to achieve the dream that we call American. We all too often look away from poverty, homelessness, immigrants reaching our borders hoping for a life without want and danger. Our generosity is often brief and reserved for only certain kinds of people. We only seem able to sacrifice for a limited time even when it is for the common good. We worry about our personal liberties in trivial ways, seeming to think that bending a bit to work for the common good is an infraction on our personal liberties. We look across the ocean from the safety of our living rooms to cheer the people of Ukraine while silently wondering if we will ever again be able to join together to save our own democracy from the forces of power brokers who take joy in dividing us with anger and fear. 

I do not know what will happen in the coming days. What I do know is that we must be willing to do our parts however small they may be to stand in unison with the people of Ukraine and those all over the world wanting to be free. If we have to pay more for gas to move our cars, so be it. If we must temper our appetites by omitting foods that become scarce, we should be happy to do so. Mostly it is time for us to be patient and understanding of one another. The urge to gerrymander political dynasties must end. Our singular goal should be to create equality for all, to consider the needs of people struggling to be free from poverty and ignorance. Democracy should be liberal in its honor of a multitude of ideas. Our government should not be comprised of hard core voting blocks, but of educated and interested citizenry intent upon spreading the wealth of freedom to as many people as possible. This is not communism, but just the opposite. Surely that must become more and more apparent as we watch the Ukrainian people teaching us once again how dangerous it is to fall under the rule of authoritarianism. We must be better than that and we can be again if we open our minds and our hearts.

God bless the people of Ukraine. We can help them, but we must have the same kind of resolve that they have demonstrated. We must unite and show Putin that the free people of the western world have the will to take as long as needed to destroy him from within, just as he has been attempting to do with us for decades. Our message should be that we know what he has tired to do, and we will not become victims of his deception again. We are free people who will take care of one another and work together just as we have in the past. We will support our brothers and sisters from all over the world in the human desire for liberty. We will work to save our planet from the scourge of evil that so sadly continues in spite of efforts to move beyond such ancient ways of doing things. My hope is that we will show Putin that he has not won, and that we will gladly defeat him together.