Today we celebrate International Women’s Day. UNESCO has noted on this particular occasion that textbooks from around the world too often contain images that stereotype women and have a tendency to limit what young girls believe they may ultimately accomplish. This organization hopes to achieve global equality for men and women by 2030, pointing out that presently the highest incidence of poverty occurs in single family homes where women are the breadwinners. Theirs is a noble goal but I fear that it overlooks multiple complicating factors not the least of which revolve around cultures, religions, and history. I suspect that ultimately the most that we might actually accomplish is learning how to respect the choices that women make.  

Back in the nineteen seventies my eldest daughter brought home a workbook page from Kindergarten that was covered with angry slashes of red and a prominent letter “F.” She was actually confused as to why the teacher had marked her down so severely because she truly felt that her answers were correct. The paper featured a man and a woman at the top with various tools and house cleaning articles below them. The instructions asked the students to draw a line from the objects to the person who would most likely use them. Most of my daughter’s lines attached the images to me, including that of the lawnmower and gardening tools. She knew full well that I love working in the yard and doing landscaping. In all of her young life she had rarely seen her father doing such chores. Our neighbors would have backed up her claims had the teacher chosen to ask.  Thus in her childish innocence she had answered based on her own experiences.

I should have perhaps overlooked the situation and simply explained to my girl child that the teacher had not stopped to consider that many women do jobs that were once thought to be the domain of men. I might have told her that there was still some old fashioned thinking in the world that she would encounter but it should never hold her back. Instead I made an appointment to meet with the educator and brought the offending worksheet with me. I laughed pleasantly as I explained my concerns to the unamused woman who sat across from me. Her face was as rigid as a stone when I told her that my daughter had actually made a one hundred based on the realities of her own life because I did indeed use the lawnmower and the gardening tools far more often than my husband. I found myself nervously babbling once I realized that the teacher was not buying my argument. She waited impatiently for me to cease my chatter and then insisted without a hint of emotion that the exercise had been designed to determine the best answers which in this case would have leaned toward a more traditional interpretation of male/female work, not the unusual outlier that I had just described. She believed that the grade was fair and maintained that it would stand in spite of my unique argument.

I left the school not as much angry as disappointed that the world was still so backward thinking concerning women. I knew that I would have to explain the realities to my little girl and somehow help her to understand that while there were people in this world who might attempt to limit her goals, she herself had the power to go anywhere that she wished and do anything that she wanted to do. I used this as a learning moment but deep down inside I worried about what might lie ahead for her. 

For the most part my girl did quite well for herself. She chose her own path in this world and is till forging a trail forward in a household filled with men and boys. She mostly overlooked the backward thinking that she encountered along the way and grew into a very strong woman. There was nonetheless yet another defining moment during her high school years that angered both me and her. 

At one point she decided that she really wanted to take physics even though it was not a graduation requirement for her. She was fascinated by learning how things work and she thought that she might enjoy the challenge. She found out soon enough that she and a good friend were the only two girls in the class. For some reason this seemed to annoy the teacher who frequently accused the two females of only signing up so that they might meet intelligent young men. Sadly the insults both open and implied continued throughout the school year. The instructor, who was herself a woman, was only able to give my daughter a single back handed compliment for an outstanding presentation, indicating her surprise that a girl had performed so well. I was proud to learn that my brilliant young daughter handed the insult right back by mentioning that she had worked closely with a female relative in gathering her information and that said relation was a doctor who headed a department at Baylor College of Medicine. It appeared to dumbfound the poor teacher if only for a moment. 

I’d like to believe that today’s young women are well beyond the kinds of stereotyping that occurred in the past but my own anecdotal evidence tells me that there are still far too many lingering prejudices in the world at large. My granddaughter has to work doubly hard to be considered as intelligent as her twin brother who almost instantly earns the label of genius wherever he goes. I still hear well meaning educators questioning the abilities of young women that they only see as high achievers rather than brilliant minds. While our universities now educate and graduate more females than males, there remains an underlying belief that the men will ultimately be running the world. We send subtle messages to our young girls through the media that confuse them about who they are and what they may ultimately achieve. 

I don’t for one second believe that there is really a war on women. That is as silly as the teacher who wanted my little girl to think that her mama was somehow strange for maintaining the lawn. I despise anyone who has preconceived notions about how a young woman must act in order to be acceptable. I have always maintained that every girl should be free to design her own pathway through life. She may choose a traditional route or one that is unconventional. She may be a housewife or President of the United States. The important thing to consider is whether or not she is able to be the master of her own destiny. We have to reach a point in our civilization in which we cheer on each individual woman who follows her heart. There really is no right or wrong answer for her just as there is none for her male counterpoints. True equality for the sexes will be reached only when every child is encouraged to dream big and without restrictions. It starts with how we as adults react to children who color beyond the constrictions of the lines and think outside of the box. 

Will this happen by 2030? I suspect not, but we have to try. Half of our world is depending on us to begin to set things right.